A minister parked his car in a no-parking zone in a large city because he was short
of time and couldn’t find a space with a meter.

So he put a note under the windshield wiper that read: “I have circled the block 10 times.
If I don’t park here, I’ll miss my appointment. FORGIVE US OUR TRESPASSES.”

When he returned, he found a citation from a police officer along with this note.

“I’ve circled this block for 10 years. If I don’t give you a ticket, I’ll lose my job. LEAD US NOT INTO TEMPTATION.”

It was the day after Christmas at a church in San Francisco.
The pastor of the church was looking over the naivety when
he noticed the baby Jesus was missing from among the figures.

Immediately he turned and went outside where he saw a little
boy with a red wagon and in the wagon was the figure of the infant of Jesus.

So he walked up the the little boy and said,
“Well, where’d you get Him, my fine friend?

The little boy replied , “I got him from the church.”

“And why did you take him?”

The little boy replied,
“Well about a week before Christmas I prayed to the little Lord Jesus and I told him if
he would bring me a red wagon for Christmas I would give him a ride around the block in it.”

It was 5:00 a.m and the father went to his son Shawn’s bedroom door, knocked and said,
“Son, it’s time to get up. Jump in the shower and we’ve got to leave ASAP to catch any fish.”

Soon it was 5:30 and dad had the coffee brewing, the boat hooked up and he just finished
packing the truck, when he noticed Shawn still wasn’t up.

Furious the dad pounded on his son’s bedroom door a second time and yelled,
“Jesus rose from the dead and you can’t even get out of Bed!”

To which the son replies, “Yeah, but it took Jesus three days!!”

One beautiful Sunday morning, a priest announced to his congregation:
“My good people, I have here in my hands three sermons…a $100 sermon that lasts five minutes,
a $50 sermon that lasts fifteen minutes, and a $10 sermon that lasts a full hour.
“Now, we’ll take the collection and see which one I’ll deliver.”