A pastor, known for his lengthy sermons, noticed a man get up and leave during the middle of his message. The man returned just before the conclusion of the service. Afterwards the pastor asked the man where he had gone.

“I went to get a haircut,” was the reply.

“But,” said the pastor, “why didn’t you do that before the service?”

“Because,” the gentleman said, “I didn’t need one then.”

A Sunday school teacher asked her class, “What was Jesus’ mother’s name?”

They all knew. “Mary,” they answered in unison.

The teacher then asked, “Does anyone know what Jesus’ father’s name was?”

A little kid shot up his hand and said, “Verge.”

The teacher asked, “Where did you get that?”

The little kid said, “You know, Verge n’ Mary.

A Sunday School class was learning about the Good Samaritan. To make the story vivid to the children, teacher told the story in detail, describing how the Samaritan was beaten, robbed, then left for dead. Then she asked the class what they would do if they saw someone on the side of the road, beaten and all bloody. A little girl quietly replied, “I think I’d throw up.”

On Easter Sunday, the minister was giving the children’s sermon. He reached into a bag and pulled out an egg. He asked the children if they knew what was inside.

“I know,” said one boy. “Panty hose!”